A Hyena in Iceland

My new employment

2009-12-08T13:11:00.002-05:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I have joined the ranks of the batlanim. I'm a paid minyan-man; currently just in the morning. However, I have received a proposition for the afternoon as well. If I do both, I will easily cover my rent. Heck, I will fully support myself. Still, I'm not sure if I should do it.

A Note on my bike

2009-12-03T11:22:00.003-05:00

I left the library in the cold and rain. I was about to get on my bike and ride home. I noticed a piece of paper attached. Rather I hardly noticed it. I was about to flick it off into the wind. But I hesitated when I saw some some handwritten words inside. These were the words.

both elbows on the table
i covered my face with my palms
inside that darkness I saw rain falling on a sea
rain softly falling on a vast sea,
with noone there to see it

The words are from the novel, 'South of the Border, West of the Sun' by Haruki Murakami

Here's the quote, expanded,

Sitting at the kitchen table, I watched the single cloud over the cemetary. The Cloud didn't move an inch. It was stationary, nailed to the spot. Time to wake my daughters. It was well past dawn, and they had to get up. They were the ones who needed this new day, much more than I ever would. I'd go to their bedroom, pull back the covers, rest my hand on their warm bodies, and announce the beginning of a new day. That's what I had to do. But somehow I couldn't stand up from the kitchen table. All strength was drained from my body, as if someone had snuck up behind me and silently pulled the plug. Both elbows on the table, I covered my face with my palms.
Inside that darkness, I saw rain falling on the sea. Rain softly falling on a vast sea, with no one there to see it. The rain strikes the surface of the sea, yet even the fish don’t know it is raining.
Until someone came and rested a hand lightly on my shoulder, my thoughts were of the sea.
~Haruki Murakami

Back Online

2009-12-02T12:29:00.000-05:00

More details to follow.

Facebook - Not So Innocent

2008-11-28T22:47:00.000-05:00

POWERFULL

2008-11-28T22:34:00.001-05:00

Moving to New York (Hopefully)

2008-09-03T16:52:00.002-04:00

Look at these numbers. What the hell happened with my blog starting friday? If anyone knows why hundreds of people started rushing to my blog everyday, please give me a clue. Anyway, I can say that I'm almost done with my posting sabbatical. Posting resumes now...

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My fingers are crossed. I may just move into my new apartment in New York tonight. I still have to sign the lease and get the keys. However, I feel like I may be close - maybe. Hamilton Heights is the neighborhood.

Can anyone recommend a nice air mattress for my love pad?

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I'm going to Columbia this year studying actuarial science. I'm trying to keep in mind that this is a school I need to get out of as quickly as possible. I belong in the work place, not class.

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So drop a comment and tell me you love me.

Why not have the best of both worlds?

2008-06-22T21:18:00.002-04:00

The thong/girdle combination has, too much anticipation, finally arrived. No longer is there a need to choose.

History of "fuck"

2008-06-22T19:33:00.000-04:00

WORD HISTORY: The obscenity fuck is a very old word and has been considered shocking from the first, though it is seen in print much more often now than in the past. Its first known occurrence, in code because of its unacceptability, is in a poem composed in a mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500. The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, “Flen flyys,” from the first words of its opening line, “Flen, flyys, and freris,” that is, “fleas, flies, and friars.” The line that contains fuck reads “Non sunt in coeli, quia gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk.” The Latin words “Non sunt in coeli, quia,” mean “they [the friars] are not in heaven, since.” The code “gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk” is easily broken by simply substituting the preceding letter in the alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the alphabet and in spelling between then and now: i was then used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w. This yields “fvccant [a fake Latin form] vvivys of heli.” The whole thus reads in translation: “They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely [a town near Cambridge].”
~American Heritage Dictionary

A dream of the queer variety

2008-04-16T02:00:00.004-04:00

I had a dream a few nights ago. It was so funny, I still remember it as vividly as when I woke up three mornings ago. In my dream, I'm feeling a lot of frustration with girls. They all look at me like I'm some swine with only one thing on my mind. It causes me much anguish. So I decide to remedy the situation. I come out of the closet. I'm not really gay. I just tell everyone I am. Then, I feel like I'm born again. Everyone looks at me in a new light. The girls all of a sudden trust me and open up to me. Even the guys become friendlier. I like the situation so much, I wonder whether I should get a boyfriend and "go with the flow." So what if I'm living a lie. Everyone likes me now. Isn't it really funny that while I'm completely straight, my subconscious is dreaming about being gay?

2008-04-08T22:11:00.002-04:00

Sparring today was a huge change of pace. I'm used to getting my ass kicked. Today, the kid I sparred, we'll call him Rafi, made contact no more than two times in 3 rounds. Meanwhile, I hit him with every punch in the book. This reminds me of the first time I sparred with Pedro. I was in Rafi's shoes - worse even. I was so scared that time, I was practically paralyzed. I'm worried Rafi will get discouraged and not come back. That would be disappointing. I've taken far worse beatings than I gave him today.

This is my life

2008-04-08T12:18:00.002-04:00

I know you're wondering - what in heck could ilya be up to? Sadly for anxious readers, I have not been out wreaking lots of havoc. I've been a good boy. I've been spending lots of time with math and computer science. So I hope to finish this semester well for a change. Then, I've decided to pursue a Masters degree in biostatistics. I'd rather get a fun job where I'm causing trouble out and about. But a man has to make a living. I've also been going to the boxing gym. I have two guys in my weight class who are itching to spar with me. I should be granting one of those wishes today.

I've been responding to some Craigslist ads regarding odd jobs. I haven't seen a response yet. I'm in tacit contact with a consulting company to entertainment companies. I sent them a writing sample related to AIDS in Africa, which I believe was a bad topic for this purpose. I still have to send them layout for my college sex magazine, ROMP.

A dream

2008-03-29T08:58:00.002-04:00

I had an interesting dream last night. In the dream, I had just come into a math class I was taking. I was missing class chronically. And I had no idea what I missed. My teacher was Susan Parker, who happened to be my calculus teacher at Brandeis. So when I sat down, Susan Parker turned to me and told me it's my turn to sing. Apparently, the class was taking turns singing some song. I hadn't practiced, so I couldn't do it. Susan Parker noted this. I began to wonder if I'm gonna fail. Then 3 classmates went up, sang the stupid song like an A cappella group and stole the teacher's heart. These classmates were from all past lives. One, Ilya, was from my Russian-Jewish elementary school. The other two from High school.

2008-03-28T12:01:00.001-04:00

Big congratulations are in order for Levi Okunov on his fantastic fashion show last night. Will write more soon. Enjoy these videos.

Finally, A Post

2008-03-26T23:29:00.003-04:00

Wow, over a month without a post! What excuses can I come up with?

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I began to have second thoughts about boxing. I'm worried about brain damage. Admittedly, I haven't even been going to the gym that much over the last few weeks. Here's what the British Medical Association says:

Doctors are gravely concerned about the risk of serious impairment to those who survive a career in boxing. These are the post-traumatic brain diseases which can result in a progressive failure of brain function. In the last few years fighters have been left wheelchair bound, blind and comatose after going into the ring. All boxers are at risk of acute and chronic brain and eye injuries. Boxing, therefore, cannot be justified on health and safety grounds as an appropriate or legitimate ‘sport’.

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I'm in the process of applying to Mathematical Finance degree programs. Problem is, I am really not sure about it even if I get accepted. The market sucks right now. The competition for these job is fierce. I'm not sure I'll enjoy it. Perhaps I'd be better off doing odd jobs in New York for a while till I figure it out?

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Here's a profound verse from Pirkei Avot, Ethics of Our Fathers. We would all do well to take it to heart.

1. Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from all men, as it is written (Psalm 119:99) "I have gained understanding from all my teachers."

Who is mighty? He who subdues his passions, as it is written (Proverbs 16:32) "One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one whose temper is controlled than one who captures a city."

Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion, as it is written (Psalm 128:2) "You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be happy, and it shall go well with you." "You shall be" refers to this world; and "it shall be well with you" refers to the world to come.

Who is honored? He that honors his fellow men as it is written (I Samuel 2:30) "For those who honor me I will honor, and those who despise me shall be treated with contempt."

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Some Videos

What an asshole:

I once had a bike stolen. I, too, wasn't crazy about it. But, man, having it stolen was so painful. That bike was a part of me. I knew all of its eccentricities. I rode in to Boston, sometimes in the middle of the night. Me and that bike were one. But some psychopath had to tear us apart. This song goes deep for me. (It doesn't really. I've since switched to riding road bikes and never looked back.)

"I Got a Crush...On Obama" By Obama Girl

How many of you girls can relate?

Miss South Carolina Answers a Question

When asked why one-fifth of Americans can't find U.S. on the map, Caitlin Upton cited the problem as a lack of maps. Apparently, she now models for Trump and is paid exorbitant amounts of money. Another example of hard work and sacrifice paying off in America.

Soulja Boy Tellem

I know you're all dying to learn this dance.

2008-02-24T16:26:00.002-05:00

I need to get my life together. I've been wasting a lot of time the past couple of weeks. And my confidence has been sinking. I don't have a job. I'm not in a graduate school program. I don't have a woman. What do I have? Style? Maybe. So these things need to change. And I'm getting serious about it. I'm trying to hold my time to a set schedule. And so far today that's worked alright. One day at a time. I'll just take it one day at a time.

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How many of you girls use the term va-jay-jay. This insightful blogger wants the word banned. I can't help but agree.

2008-02-16T13:06:00.003-05:00

I finished off last week at Couture Fashion Week, a showcase of extremely elegant (as well as extremely impractical) dresses. Fashion week is the best place to meet women. Lots of hotties without dates. Lucky I'm into women's dresses.

Saturday night, after the show, I went to a bar with Maria, a girl I met at the show and her friends. From, the beginning I became the center of attention at the bar - until I started acting like a pig. I believe that's because I had 3 girls with me. See, a guy becomes exponentially more appealing if he already has women with him. He's been pre-selected.

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John(not his real name), a trainer and fellow boxer at my gym, is one of a kind. He's the worst husband I've ever met. He has a wife and a little son. At the same time, he's constantly hitting on other women. He uses my cell phone every day for his conquests. He's really smooth and knows how to flirt. Legend has it, he has a dick the size of a horse. I love him. I'm not allowed to call him by his name. I'm only allowed to call him, 'family'.
"How's it goin family? How are the bitches treating you?"

Yeshiva Boys Choir -- Kol Hamispalel

2008-02-12T12:56:00.001-05:00

Watch this!

Fashion Shows

2008-02-08T04:31:00.000-05:00

It's Fashion Week in New York. I've been going to shows since Tuesday. Here's what I saw.

Patrick Rzepski on Tuesday presented an attractive line of mostly black figure-flattering dresses. Black is my favorite color.
Jedda Kahn had some of the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen (if I wasn't just swepped up in the moment. He uses mostly dark blue and black in fairy-tale inspired designs. After-party was pathetic. I spent half an hour talking to Katy, one of the show's main sponsors who came from Atlanta. Too bad conversation is all she wanted. I wanted more.
Cynthia Rowley held a huge show at Gotham Hall. Really classy. I loved the wild, frizzy hair on the models.
Lyn Devon placed her models on sculpture stands where models stood immobile for an hour or so. I'm trying to find something positive to say about her clothes. I'm having trouble.

So that's four shows so far. I also took a romp through the tent in Bryant Park, though I didn't make it in to Custo Barcelona's show yesterday. I'm a little disappointed myself. I didn't even get a single girl's number, nothing in that regard, in fact. Where am I going wrong? Good thing, Fashion week isn't over for me. Tonight and tomorrow, I'm attending Couture Fashion week at the Westin Times Square.

I'll post pictures when I get a chance.

2008-02-02T13:41:00.000-05:00

I was at a gallery opening at the SOHO Grand Hotel on Thursday. People were beautiful and dressed really nice. I wanted to chat some of them up, but I didn't have the confidence to do so. So I wandered around by myself drinking wine until I left.

I shoul do okay at NJIT. I saw that a lot of the students don't understand the material. Luckily I do.

I need to start looking for part-time jobs and internships. Someone please give me a lead.

My "brother" Dovid spoke about how many years ago when he went to Israel, he was completely celibate for about a year. He didn't even jerk off. Prior to this, he jerked off everyday. So being celibate made him hypersexual he said. He saw sex everywhere while his sperm where dying to get out for some fresh air. Many sperm suffocated inside Dovid's balls that year, never to see the light of day.

Aren't vultures beautiful? Now, who says calling someone a vulture is an insult? I'd take it as a point of pride.

2008-02-01T02:15:00.000-05:00

I went to chulent tonight. There I hung out with Ben, my old "brother" Dovid Tzvi and some new friends pictured above, Bailey, Allie and Sleeze. I believe they're homeless adventure seekers who travel the country on freight trains hangin out with other street kids. Between them, they have a dog and two pet rats. I'm a little jealous of them cause I've been so sheltered my whole life.

I started classes at NJIT last week. I find them really interesting though I feel a bit like a loser for taking classes rather than working.

Fashion week is coming up. And I scored a few invitations. Who wants to be my date to the shows?

The $1.43 million dollar shower scene

2008-01-29T14:29:00.001-05:00

From the Washington Post,

"We find that the programming at issue is within the scope of our indecency definition because it depicts sexual organs and excretory organs -- specifically an adult woman's buttocks," the FCC wrote in its ruling.

ABC argued that the scene was necessary to "illustrate the complexity and awkwardness involved when a single parent brings a new romantic partner into his or her life."

IBM service in nazi concentration-camps!

2008-01-24T20:15:00.001-05:00

Seems compelling, doesn't it?

first seen on lovelifelikeyourself.wordpress.com

Who says I have no life

2008-01-19T13:15:00.001-05:00

I brought a Hookah in Israel this past Summer. When I brought it home, the vase was all in pieces. Well, 2 nights ago, rather than going out, I set to work to put it back together - all 100 or so pieces. It took me about 5 hours. And in the end, I triumphed. I created a masterpiece that is a perfect analogy to the world we live in. It belongs in a musem. And don't tell me I'm taking this too far. Now I'm putting this up for auction. It may not function as a Hookah with all the holes it has. It's just a true work of art. Bidding starts at $300.

Putting the pieces together:

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I just set up my gmail account to connect with Outlook. How much cooler did I just become?

Why I hate women

2008-01-16T23:40:00.000-05:00

So recently I came to the realization that I hate women. I'd even go so far as to say that I might be better off in a world without any women at all.

My hatred for women has deep roots. It began when I was 12. That's when I transferred from my all-boys yeshiva in Brooklyn to a public elementary school. And my life became rather tumultuous. Girls made my life complicated. Before that I didn't know any girls at all. All of a sudden I was having embarassing crushes and I didn't know what to do about it. A girl named Jennifer Lenone was the girl I lusted after. But I never did anything about it, even after she admitted she had a crush on me in return. Fast forward to now....

There are a number of reasons why I hate women today. Here, I put together an outline;

They intimidate me.
They’re extremely image-conscious.
They play hard to get.
They’re attracted to the guys who are jerks.
You have to pretend you’re not interested in them to catch their interest.
Too often, they use me as the male friend with whom they’ll bitch about their boyfriends and the guys they want.

I'll continue this rant later...

A dilemma

2008-01-16T17:36:00.000-05:00

I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I have an interview with Corbett Accel, a pharmaceutical marketing company on Tuesday. Then I start classes on wednesday. I don't know if I'll hear from Corbett Accel before I'll be able to get my refund from college. So even while I start classes, I'm nervously waiting for a response that will allow me to ditch school just in the nick of time. I'd just rather work for a few years before going back to school. Otherwise, for the next two years, I'll have no money. And I'm not even sure I like quantitative finance. I don't even know what that is.

I'm about to begin editing the archives of this blog. So if you wanna catch a peek at my most deranged and perverted ramblings, better do so fast.

Blast from the past

2008-01-12T14:07:00.000-05:00

With good friends at the airport before going on Birthright, the first of 3 trips to Israel. I'm on the left. The guy in the middle was my roommate freshman year. He's getting married in June. I promised him I'd take lots of l'chaims for the happiness of him and his bride. I haven't let him down yet.

Here's What's Up

2008-01-12T07:49:00.000-05:00

So apparently I haven't posted in 10 days. Where does the time go? Well, not too much has happened lately. I've been mostly home, trying to learn some mathematics and C++. I've been going to boxing practice, seeing slow progress in the gym. Yesterday, I had a good sparring session with Danny where I took some hard punches that left a few marks on my face. My head felt a little numb for the rest of the day. That's actually a feeling I'm beginning to enjoy.

My GRE scores came in. I got (out of a possible 800), 760 math, 570 verbal, and 4.0 out of 6 on the essay.

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Today at 3 pm by Foley Square in New York, people are getting together for a good cause. They will take their pants off in the subway and act completely nonchalant about it. The event is dubbed No Pants 2k8. Join in.

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Search terms used to reach my blog:
leah kleim, leah kleim naked, leah kleim blog, girls caught in bais yakov, naked brandeis girls, lou bega blogspot, iceland nude blogs, bais yaakov girl undressed, iceland naked girls, naked girls from iceland, nude iceland girls, iceland naked, bais yaakov girl naked picture; the ark, the worrying kind music video; nyctf interview.

To the pervert who's searching for naked Brandeis girls, your wish is granted:

2 authentic naked Brandeis girls

2008-01-02T21:49:00.000-05:00

I enrolled in classes today. I'm taking 3 math classes as well as an intro to computer science, all at the New Jersey Institute of Technology. I do admit I'm taking classes as a cop out because finding a job is difficult. On the bright side, these classes qualify me for free health insurance on my mother's plan. Further, I will continue to box. Lately though, the gym has been empty. I haven't sparred in a month. I miss getting hit.

I'm going to chulent tomorrow. Look for me.

The Ark - The worrying kind THE MUSIC VIDEO

2008-01-01T22:39:00.001-05:00

Ridiculous flamboyant Swedish rock band you should know about.

Nellie McKay "David"

2008-01-01T22:34:00.001-05:00

Nellie Mckay is so cute.

Ringing in the New Year!

2008-01-01T13:01:00.000-05:00

I rang in the New Year on a rooftop of a space called Rubulad. The space itself is quite awesome. It's filled with fantastic elements, decorations and works of art. I drank too much though. And at around 2 am, I passed out. I don't remember how. Then I woke up at 6 and went home. Why didn't any of my friends wake me up? Then, someone threw up on my jacket. That gave me a pretty disgusting ride home. Yuck. Still, I was lucky to get home in one piece. It took me a total of 4 train transfers to get home. And somehow I didn't miss a single one.

Tomorrow, I'll hopefully register for classes and go back to the boxing gym. Hopefully my trainer won't throw me out for my long absences.

I'm interested in buying a translated version of the Tanya, the Zohar as well as any other translated Chassidus. If you wanna sell me an old copy, shoot me an e-mail.

My main New Year's resolution is to hold to a schedule. That's the most important thing in my life right now.

Loose - Spank Rock & Benny Blanco are: Bangers & Cash

2007-12-31T03:33:00.000-05:00

Saved by The Bell - Quality moment in masturbation history

2007-12-30T20:30:00.000-05:00

Quality Yeshiva Time

2007-12-28T19:25:00.000-05:00

I just spent a couple days in a Chabad yeshiva in Morristown. (I have a bad habit of spending time in yeshivas.) It was wonderful. I felt a lot of warmth and joy. I felt like I was home.

Bochurs and a homeless guy at a Farbrengen:

Rabbi leading the Farbrengen:
Bartending practice at home:
What the girls do when the boys are in yeshiva:

I was once a badass

2007-12-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

Everyone Get Ready for Festivus

2007-12-22T14:55:00.000-05:00

Here you can see my stats. Notice the dramatic spike in visitors after being linked to Leah Kleim's site.

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Tomorrow, Dec. 23, I am hosting a Festivus celebration.

As seen on Seinfeld, these are the components:

1. A "Festivus pole" will be present

2. The Festivus feast - likely to be a barbecue with an indoor grill.

3. The Airing of Grievances - we take turns around the table telling each other how they disappointed us over the year.

4. Feats of Strength - the host of the party will challenge guests by turn to a wrestling match. Festivus is not over till the host (in this case, myself) gets pinned.

5. Lots of drinking, especially during feats of strength!

If you feel you were unfairly denied an invitation, let me know.

Crank That Kosha Boy

2007-12-17T08:40:00.001-05:00

Greatest video ever.

Back to school

2007-12-15T15:39:00.002-05:00

It looks like I'll be signing up for classes soon. I just received my acceptance into Rutgers for non-degree study. I'll be taking 3 or 4 math classes plus computer programming. I think the classes will be fairly easy. So I'm not worried. I'm taking these classes as prerequisites for a Masters in Mathematical Finance, which I hope to begin this Fall.

In addition, I plan to begin applying for work as a bartender. I have no experience. So I'll make it up. And I have some fake references on hand. For this, I've been practicing mixing drinks at home. The problem is, I get drunk during practice. The drinks are too good to throw away. Twice, I got so drunk I couldn't drive to boxing practice. If anyone wants to come to my house while I practice, you're more than welcome to.

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I had a long conversation with my former "brother" Dovid a few days ago. His advice to me was simple. I need to go to the yeshiva in Morristown, NJ (a yeshiva is a Jewish religious school). After a few months, I'll meet a nice Jewish girl from a nice functional family. Then I can get married and have children. I think the advice is wonderful and certainly worth following. However, since when do I listen to good advice? Problem is it's too boring. I like to walk on the wild side. I'll pursue self-destruction as long as it makes for a good story. So what else is new?

Lou Bega - Bachata

2007-12-15T15:31:00.001-05:00

Lou Bega is one lucky gentleman.

Lou Bega - Mambo No.5

2007-12-12T23:14:00.001-05:00

Careful, this song is addictive.

2007-12-12T10:31:00.000-05:00

I went to court last night to take care of my speeding ticket. It took about three and a half hours. The prosecutor dropped it from 15 to 5 mph over the speed limit. So I had to pay $140 in fines. However, the larger cost goes to my parents who may have to deal with a higher insurance rate.

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I went on an interview yesterday with a dubious company called Primerica. They would have me schlep around to people's houses to work out their financial situations by using the options for which Primerica get a commission. He then claims I can make a lot of money doing so. The idea gives me a bit of a headache. I need a regular job with regular hours. I won't make a good salesman. I couldn't even sell this stuff to myself.

Meanwhile, my best hope, Corbett Accel, a pharmaceutical marketing company, still hasn't given me an interview. It's been a while. I was once told I'd be given an interview by Thanksgiving.

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I'm taking the GREs on Dec. 20th. It looks like I'm going back to school.

Ding Ding Licky Licky

2007-12-09T13:34:00.001-05:00

~The late and legendary Lucky Dube

2007-12-09T11:10:00.000-05:00

Have you ever beeen in a situation where every gut instinct you possess begged you not to do something, but you did it anyway? If you have, there might be a deamon inside you that leads you to self-destruction. I certainly have one. We should learn to ignore it.

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I went to a Couture Fashion Week event on tuesday. It was a fairly elegant affair replete with a fashion show, several open bars, and a reception. My friend Jake got a girl's number. How did I get in? Well, I learned a few simple things on how to infiltrate high-profile events. Wanna know how I do it? You'll have to ask me in person. It's too sensitive to share on the world wide web.

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I'm scheduled to take the GREs on Dec. 20. I have an interview for a job as a personal finances tutor on tuesday. I'll resume training very seriously in boxing as I better do well in my first fight. And I'll start applying for jobs as a bartender.

Auditioning for Naked Modeling

2007-12-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

I auditioned to be a figure model yesterday. It took place at the school of visual arts. We first received an introduction. Then we all got on line. 4 potential models were allowed in the auditioning studio at once: 2 on the model stands, 2 waiting in chairs. I was the last in line. So I modeled alone, which was a bit stressful. We basically had to take off all our clothes, get on the model stand and do 4 poses, a minute each. Meanwhile, the judges took lots of notes. The two women who modeled before me were beautiful, especially naked. I just wish I could spend an afternoon in this audition studio and videotape the proceedings. After that I'd make a video compilation and share it with the world. Could you think of any better contribution to humanity?

2007-11-29T22:38:00.000-05:00

Typical party I was at last friday night. You can't see me. I'm off to the side.

Photos from my past

2007-11-29T18:34:00.000-05:00

So I just downloaded lots of photos from my laptop. I thought I would share some with you. Enjoy.

Staff of Okapi, African magazine I started. Back row, stands my favorite professor, Sundiata.
My best friend in college, Lindsay.
I once volunteered in a school for little children.
My cousin Levi gets very touchy.
Two old friends of mine, Sasha and Ivana.

Ah, my extended family.
I used to live with these homos.
On the left, Sarah used to be my best friend.
Here's Jeff, he was also my best friend.

Typical scene in my room at Brandeis.

On the left, Misha was my roommate Junior year.

Is your pussy hungry?

2007-11-26T21:36:00.000-05:00

Right now, the way I’m feeling, I see men and I want to pry them open like oysters and pour them down my throat......Which all leaves me with this hungry, hungry pussy. I could wind it up and toss plastic bits into it—shoes, shirts, tiny tin can replicas—and it would still be starving. I have tried. I have fed it vibrators and dildos and vibrating dildos and other buzzing plastic and silicone and stainless steel masturbatory flotsam and jetsam, and my pussy, indiscreet as a goat, has swallowed it all, burped, and asked for more. - Just admit it. You ladies all feel this way. I know it. I can see right through you. Click the link to read more where that came from.

Everyone put your hands together for Jon Mclaughlin

2007-11-26T11:30:00.000-05:00

Whatever you do, PLEASE DO NOT JERK OFF

2007-11-23T20:54:00.001-05:00

"המביא ביד חמור מרציחה"
שההורג אדם אינו גובר על התחלת ההויה אלא על ההמשך אבל המשחית זרעו שהוא התחלת הויה חמור יותר והוא כמביא מבול לעולם שבא לעקור הויה משורשה וכו'
מהר"ל מפראג ז"ל (באר הגולה דט"ו ע"ג)

He who comes with his hand, it is more severe than murder. For he who kills a man did not overpower the beginning of the existence (i.e. that person's life), but on the continuation (of that life); but he who spills his seed, which is the beginning of existence, it is much more severe and is as if he is bringing a flood to the world, to eradicate existence from its source etc. (the Mahara'l of Prague, Be'er Hagolah,)

~ with a tip of the hat to 7fatcow.com

Adventures in Shoplifting

2007-11-22T20:57:00.001-05:00

A couple days ago, I did something really stupid. And I wish I wouldn't have done it. I stopped by the store, Century 21 looking for a bag, the type I could carry on my shoulder. So I went to the bag section. And the selection was pathetic. I found a small, very simple, synthetic black bag, which costed $20. I declared that a ripoff to myself. So I ripped the tag off and put it in another shopping bag I was carrying. When I walked out, the alarm rang. I didn't think this bag would have a security tag. I certainly didn't see one. Luckily, the security guard just let me through after briefly checking my bag. I told him it's something I purchased elsewhere and he waved it off as a machine malfunction.

So what would have happened if I was prosecuted for shoplifting? ...and all for a piece of shit of a bag.

2007-11-13T12:58:00.000-05:00

Quality time with my cousin Baruch at his brother's engagement party

I went for an interview yesterday at an environmental testing company. The job would require me to look at asbestos particles under the microscope. It's an easy, boring job. And I would have either the 2nd or 3rd shift. The manager at first offered it to me at my requested $15 an hour. Afterwards, when he saw I wasn't overjoyed, he took the offer back. Now I wish I took it. The job would at least afford me to move out of the house and support myself, even though the work holds nothing for me, personally. Further, I think I want to call the manager again and try to get the offer once more. What do you think?

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Nothing to do but shop

Wish me well friends

2007-11-07T14:23:00.000-05:00

I developed a fever of 102 degrees (39 C). And it's the second day. I don't what caused it. But I do want this fever to go away.

I had another useless interview at a temp agency yesterday. I was told not to expect anything for a couple weeks. Afterwards, he might get me a lousy entry-level laboratory assignment if I'm lucky.

2007-11-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

I've been studying for the GREs lately. It's something I'm enjoying. For some unfathomable reason, I seem to be doing much better on the verbal section than on the math, at least percentile-wise. I've also discovered a love for words. I like increasing my vocabulary.

I'm bored...

Mike Tyson at his most eloquent

2007-11-04T10:32:00.001-05:00

Martin Luther King, Jr. on War

2007-11-03T22:45:00.001-04:00

Jesus for a Day

2007-11-01T15:58:00.000-04:00

One of the things on my list to do before I died was to dress up as Jesus for Halloween. I finally got to check that off. Strutting around the Village gay pride parade in my loin cloth, I never got more attention. Who doesn't love Jesus? Afterwards, I wandered around New York City just about naked for a couple hours, a victim of cold weather and objectifying cat calls. Later, I want home to receive a verbal beating from my mother.

-----

I'm having trouble finding a job. I have another pointless interview with another agent on Tuesday. I'm also studying for the GREs. In the GREs, the math section is embarassingly easy. Seriously, these are questions for middle school, not post-college. The verbal section I find fairly difficult. I was never too good with words.

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I haven't been to the gym since last thursday. I know, it's embarassing.

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Now let's look at some photos of the denizens at the Bronx zoo:

A giraffa
A really big monkey
A little monkey
Finally, I saw a live okapi
What in G-d's name...

2007-10-28T13:20:00.000-04:00

I still don't have a job. I've been getting really lazy at home lately. I haven't been doing anything, especially on the weekends. I haven't even been running. I hope I get a call. But I'm just hoping.

Boxing hasn't been what I hoped it would be. I thought I would practice technique in the ring. Instead, I'm still getting over my fear of getting hit. When you get into boxing, there's a lot of natural intuition you have to relearn. It's a suicidal sport. You have to take punches and remain calm while doing so. That seems easy until you start getting hit. Yet, so far, only Pedro has hit me hard enough to make me dizzy. Some fears are just hard to get over. But don't worry about me. I'll suck it up. The day I quit, I might as well wear a skirt.

I thought maybe I should start tutoring. I might like to be a tutor in New York City. Some tutors get paid pretty well. And if I can get 20 hours of tutoring a week, I might be able to afford to live in New York. Furthermore, if I tutor a subject, I might actually understand it myself. I've learned some lessons from my last tutoring job, from which I was fired. I tried to teach much more than the student was able to absorb.

2007-10-24T03:59:00.000-04:00

I just got a speeding ticket. Fuck. After speeding with no regard for 6 years, I get a ticket now.

It's about time we all saw this again. It's Precious.

2007-10-24T03:19:00.000-04:00

Everyone Must See This! - video powered by Metacafe

I Called the FBI

2007-10-23T15:51:00.000-04:00

I just called the FBI regarding a job offer I received. The company wanted me to work 10-12 hour days as an administrative assistant for $20k a year which would be given to me under the table. Several years later, I can put in my own capital and become a day trader with part of my profits taken out.

So here's a lesson to all. If you're gonna offer to pay me under the table for shitty work, it better be good pay. Otherwise, I'm gonna be offended. And I'm gonna do something about it.

~End Rant.

2007-10-22T15:21:00.000-04:00

I didn't do anything this weekend. That's how my weekends typically go, very lazily. And I'm still trying to find a job. So far I received two offers. The first offered to make me a "Financial Representative" a.ka. insurance salesman. And the second offered me a career as a check cashier - where I would simply accept checks into my personal bank account (what a generous offer).

I have some legitimate leads I'm working on. And I'm hoping one of those pans out.

------

On another note, Israel is promoting an adult film in America for the first time ever. 100% Kosher porn straight from the holy land. Get your copy fast!

2007-10-20T16:42:00.000-04:00

I went out the last two nights. Thursday night, I went to an open bar at a thrift shop. Last night, I went to an art exhibit as well as to a bar in Soho.

2007-10-20T16:29:00.000-04:00

Ephraim, my great grandfather.

Protocols of the elders of Zion

2007-10-12T20:54:00.001-04:00

This video makes me happy.

PUBLIC ENEMY - FIGHT THE POWER

2007-10-12T20:45:00.001-04:00

Hello Kids. FIGHT THE POWER was the theme song to the movie DO THE RIGHT THING by Spike Lee. When it came out, it was a big deal. Many feared the movie would inspire blacks to riot. It didn't. It was simply a sincere portrayal of inner-city race relations.

2007-10-12T20:24:00.000-04:00

I went to chulent last night with Ben and Alyona. I saw Levi there. He just came back from Philadelphia where he designed costumes for a Yiddish play. I don't think I'm really friends with him anymore. He doesn't respond to my calls.

----

I've been in touch with a number of staffing agents these past couple of days. Several told me they're looking. But I don't have any interviews lined up yet. I hope that changes. I'm gonna go out some more this weekend.

2007-10-09T11:41:00.000-04:00

I'm just trying to focus these days. I get easily distracted. I'm studying Visual Basic for Excel. I figured it would be easier to master than C++. But I feel like I'm wasting my life away while learning these things. I should just suck it up. I need to get a good job. Then the same complication arises. How can I keep a job while training to be a boxer at the same time. It'll be tough but worthwhile, God willing.

ONN: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007

2007-10-06T11:51:00.001-04:00

2007-10-06T11:37:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so last night was interesting as the photos above testify. I went out with Alyona, Joy and Ben. We went to an open bar and then to Joy's apartment. We drank and smoke a lot of weed. Joy and Alyona yelled at me cause I bitch about money. I do sometimes. Later, Joy had a lot of fun smacking Ben around and tying him up. They were both getting really turned on. Then me and Ben drove back to my place. And Ben slept on the floor.

I need a better camera, one with better focus.

2007-10-05T12:22:00.000-04:00

Hey Guys, I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I didn't realize it's been a week since I last told you about my life. Well, here it goes...

I had two interviews at two different temp agencies this week. The first went alright. They tested me on Word and Excel. That was really dumb. I had a 5 minute interview and I was told we'd be in touch. However, I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with Yolanda these past couple of days. I don't know what's going on.

My second interview I thought went well. I spent 4 hours on their Word, Excel & Powerpoint test. Then I was told I failed and I wasn't even close on any of them. I have no idea how this came about. So, seemingly I'm still at square one concerning my job search. That's okay.

--------

I've been sparring a little in boxing practice. On Tuesday, I sparred with Pedro, a rather big young man. He pummeled me. He gave me a really hard time. And he hit me hard a few times. I appreciated it cause it showed me what sparring is like. At the same time, he has two years of experience and I'm just starting. He should have warned me before attacking me like that.

My fledgling boxing career is gonna be a struggle for sure. But I love it. I hope to continue for a long time and have as few concussions as possible. So far, there's one thing I learned. Getting hit in the head hurts.

2007-09-28T08:57:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to learn Excel for my interview on monday. I'm not trying very hard, but I'm trying. It's really boring. I want to get a job really badly, mainly to get out of the house. If I get a job in New York, I'm gonna move into the city. I'll have to leave my current gym. I hope I'll find one at least half as good. I won't be able to continue going to Paterson.

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I watched a French movie last night called Secret Things. Admittedly, I watched it for the hot, naked girls in it. It turned out to be an entertaining movie besides for that. It was about two women who use their bodies to climb up the corporate ladder. That takes a turn when they meet their match in the form of a pompous, handsome, women-eater who likes to go on about God and Death while he rubs and moans. ---- Don't get me wrong. As a work of art, it's complete crap. It's a quasi-philosophical orgy of pretense. And the characters are ludicrous, as if they're borrowed from some sort of erotic fairy tale. However, it did awake some primal instincts in me. Now, how do I satisfy them?

2007-09-27T01:13:00.000-04:00

I sparred for the first time at the gym today. It was a sobering experience. Pooh, a trainer who served as my partner, hit me directly in the face a few times. That means I need a lot more practice. I love to box and I hope to continue for a long time. But it's a lot harder than it looks.

Pooh also tripped and fell on some water I spilled in the ring. He could have hurt himself quite badly. How would that sit on my conscience?

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I've been vegetating at home for a while. It's very unfortunate. I need to start thinking positively.

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I just watched a movie called "The Science of Sleep." It's one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen. It's a story about a young man who confuses dreams with reality. He meets a rather unromantic neighbor named Stephanie. And they form a friendship based on their love of arts and crafts. The best aspect of the movie is the portrayal of the young man's dreams. I love dreams.

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I decided I'd like to go for a bike ride even though it's two in the morning.

A JOB INTERVIEW!

2007-09-25T20:54:00.000-04:00

Finally, right? Actually, I have an interview at an employment agency on monday. The agency is called Asset Staffing. And they're currently placing prospects into Financial Analyst positions. They want excellent Excel knowledge. And I told them I have it (a blatant lie). So, now I have to undertake a crash course in Excel. Particularly, I need to learn Visual Basic. Anyone know this who can help me out?

Birds of Paradise

2007-09-19T10:54:00.001-04:00

Watch this, it's amazing!

Open bar parties are awesome

2007-09-19T09:53:00.000-04:00

I went to a nice party last night. It was a gathering at the going.com lounge. And it had an open bar all night stocked with Belvedere vodka and Hennesy and other assorted top shelf alcohol. How sweet is that? I met an old man who told me to call him cause he can get me into some nice clubs on the guest list. I'm not sure I'm into that kind of scene though. Anyone wanna go clubbing?

I flirted with a cute Asian girl named Lilly, though I didn't end up with her number. It got awkward somewhere. However, this does follow a nice pattern. Every event I go to, I always find women to talk to. Maybe I just need to make better conversation.

At one point, I was sitting next to a couple who were deep in conversation. While I was wondering whether they were together and whether I should chat them up, I looked at them for a few seconds too long (my estimate is 2-3 seconds). The guy told me I was being "very creepy."

A dream about elevated bike paths

2007-09-18T11:55:00.000-04:00

I just remembered I had a dream last night. And this dream sounds pretty strange when I put into words. It took place in Israel, in the desert outside of Jerusalem. I was flying over the area in a plane when I noticed a maze of bike paths. These bike paths were raised something like a thousand feet above the ground. And there were so many of them. I was told by the pilot that they weren't open yet and bicycles are strictly forbidden on these paths. But there's nothing I love more than a good bike path and temptation took over me. Next day, I took my bike on these strange elevated bike paths. I was all alone and having the time of my life when some officer approached me from behind and put a shotgun to the back of my head. Then he told me to come with him. He took me to my family, who didn't seem to care that I was under arrest. And then I realized something, this "officer" didn't show me his badge and he's not a real cop. He's only pretending to get money out of me. I became furious. I wanted to hit him. He began to run away and I began to run after him. And then I woke up.

How strange dreams are.

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I just masturbated to some stuff I read and saw on nerve.com. Nerve is an online magazine about sexuality.

Random musings

2007-09-18T09:06:00.000-04:00

Everyday on the way to the gym

I met another great trainer yesterday. He gave me a brutal workout to do. Little does he know that that's what makes me fall in love with someone. I didn't get his name, but he's awesome, trust me.

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There are a few small things I've been procrastinating on for months cause they make me uncomfortable. I need to send an e-mail to Azadeh I should have sent in May. And I need to e-mail the ROMP listserve. I've been literally putting these things on my schedule since July.

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I masturbated last night at 2 am to a clip from PlayboyTV I saw online. I thought you might like to know.

2007-09-16T11:40:00.000-04:00

I went to a club with Jake last night, as well as with a cool friend of his named Kevin. And I had a pretty good time. Me and Jake tried to meet girls. I met a few. A really cute girl named Marilyn offered to dance with me. And I did for a while. There were two other girls I met, Meghan and Greece (that's what I thought I heard). Greece thought I was hilarious. But Meghan didn't like me that much. Later in the night, I started getting rejected. And that really took a toll on me. Of course I realize that if I approach random girls at a club, I'm bound to get put down. But it still hurts when it happens. My hope and expectation is that if I do it enough, I'll become immune to it. Besides, I found that most girls I approached would at least give me a chance.

--------

Does anyone have any leads on a job for me?

Who are you guys?

2007-09-15T17:43:00.000-04:00

I should really write more often. And you know what would encourage me? More comments! I know I have regular readers; around five to seven by my estimate. But what I'd like to know is who you guys are. Who is my phantom audience? Ghosts, reveal yourselves. Come out from the shadows. Show your beautiful and hideous faces.

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I've been really unproductive for the past two weeks. I still don't have a job. And I'm worried that as the time goes by, getting one will become increasingly difficult. If I'm not getting interviews, I should at least be learning C++ to improve my chances. And I should also start learning Access. I see it being in even wider demand than C++ itself.

I just need to get refocused and learn to get work done, even while I'm at home without a job. I spend way too much time surfing the internet, even though it rarely involves porn.

Amazon: in the hands of a few

2007-09-15T17:42:00.001-04:00

A story that needs to be shown.

Cheney '94: Invading Baghdad Would Create Quagmire C-SPAN

2007-09-15T10:22:00.001-04:00

So Cheney used to make sense.

I'm gonna be a boxer, yet

2007-09-12T19:24:00.001-04:00

I just returned from my first boxing practice at the Lou Costello Sportsman Club. John, the trainer, likes me. He says I'm not bad, I'm trainable, and he doesn't understand why the trainers at Joe Grier wouldn't work with me. Furthermore, he badly wants me to get good so he can show the guys at Joe Grier what they missed.

Also, while I was at the gym, he threw out one of his old-time boxers - for one, sparring at Joe Grier's without telling him first; frequently missing practice; and he just didn't show commitment. For my part, I'm glad I got a trainer and an open path to a successful boxing career.

Happy Rosh Hashanah everyone. Hope you have lots of health, happiness, success, meaning in life, good times, good friends, good family. All the best.

Fashion Shows

2007-09-11T21:09:00.000-04:00

So it's been an eventful couple of days. On Sunday, I managed to make my way into a fashion show by the designer Unruly Heir. I brought along with my friend Tom, as well as Joy, the girl I met through Alyona. I was trying to be funny with Joy, poking fun at her a little bit. She didn't like that. And I took it too far. I couldn't stop being sarcastic. And she told me I'm not her type. I rebounded somehow. We made out a little bit. And I believe she expects me to ask her out on a real date, which I have to do soon cause I haven't spoken to her in a couple of days.

------

Last night, I went to Levi's fashion show. It was surprisingly quite good. The designs were really creative. And I feel that he might enjoy some success yet.

I didn't end up having that much fun at the after party. I was just out of my element.

Pornography: a confession

2007-09-08T21:58:00.001-04:00

9/11 5th Anniversary- A Sign at Ground Zero.

2007-09-08T11:15:00.001-04:00

What do you think?

A Trip to New York

2007-09-04T19:40:00.000-04:00

Fancy Hotel Breakfast.

Dancing at the Guggenheim

I just spent a day and a half in New York. Alyona came to visit from Israel. And I hung out with her. My mother was extremely furious that I spent a tuesday in the city because I wasn't learning or looking for a job. I don't care. I enjoyed myself. We drank and smoked in Central Park. Last night, we went to Williamsburg. We met up with a friend of Alyona's named Joy. Joy is a dominatrix. And she was with her sugar daddy, James. Joy flirted with me a little bit. That led my mind to race as to her intentions. I wasn't going to find out. Alyona decided to pass out in the bar. James wouldn't pay for me and Alyona, the prick that he is, so I ended up filling the tab.

I had Alyona stay over at my sister's place with me despite my sister's objections. That was a mistake. I actually snuck Alyona in after my sister opened the door for me and I told her I was alone. My sister was really mad. But we left early in the morning, by 7:30.

We smoked up and then snuck into a fancy hotel for a free continental breakfast(the rolls were okay). That was the stuffiest place I've ever seen. The whole time we sat there, which lasted at least 2 hours, I didn't hear a word, not a sound from anyone. However, most guests were alone. The price per room started at $400 a night. I got the impression that wealth promotes loneliness.

I went to 2 museums with Alyona: the MOMA and the Guggenheim. I got in free both times. To get into the Guggenheim, we asked patrons on their way out for their tickets, giving us free entrance. Alyona's good with this shit. Lea R. from Brandeis joined us today. I love that girl. She's a former artist going into social work.

Anyhow, I may really want to go out in New York tonight and/or tomorrow night, especially if Alyona gets together with Joy. However, my mom swore I'm not allowed to leave for New York at all, especially after this debacle. I'll have to somehow sneak around her.

Fuck Joe Grier, I'm getting a real trainer

2007-08-31T22:58:00.000-04:00

I ended up not going to chulent yesterday. I got a little depressed, couldn't focus on my C++ book, lay down, then decided I was too sleepy to drive to chulent. What a bum! This is what got me down. I went to Joe Grier's gym for boxing practice like I have for nearly every day of the last 3 weeks. After practicing a few rounds with my buddy Derek, I asked Joe if he would have time to work with me a little bit. He said, "No I'm busy working with my main guys. And I told you, you're not our priority. Our priority is with the kids." He was just confirming the obvious. The trainers made it clear, they see no potential in me. Countless times, I would work by myself while the trainers would shoot the shit with each other. I'd get 3 minutes of attention during my workout if I was lucky. When Barry spent 10 minutes training me, I felt like I received a blessing from God. And today, once again, the gym had more trainers than boxers. And I got maybe 2 minutes of attention. It's not good enough. Joe acknowledged today that I'm highly motivated. But I don't make the 20 minute drive to Paterson every day for nothing. I need progress. And I sure won't see it at the gym I'm going to.

Today I decided to check out 2 other gyms in Paterson; Ike's and Lou Costello's. The reason I stuck with Joe Grier's for so long was because I thought I could never find an affordable substitute for the $40 monthly fee I paid at Joe's. Turns out, I was wrong. I couldn't find Ike's. So I checked out Lou Costello's.

This gym is $20 a month - not too expensive, right? And boy, they gave me the royal treatment. The head trainer John and his assistant Pooh said they'd train me for real. Pooh said, about Joe Grier's gym, they don't know what they're missing (in me). Pooh asked me how much I weighed. "165 lbs". "That's good money". They're taking me seriously. Even if the gym isn't as nice and the trainers may not have as high a profile, I am so glad that I found a gym that appreciates having me and will give me real progress. So glad. I'm headed for the Golden Gloves.

2 ordinary dreams

2007-08-29T06:25:00.000-04:00

I had 2 dreams last night and neither of them had a clear purpose. In the first, I was hikng with my dad and another person. We were in a clearing when it began to get dark. We thus had no choice but to stay where we were for the night. I got really anxious as I very much did not want to stay there. Yet I was scared that if I walked in to the forest at night, I'd get lost and never be seen again. I just wanted to get out of the woods. In the night, the clearing would get really cold. I had no warm clothing or shelter. When dawn came, it became clear that the impenetrable forest actually had a very short depth and a suburb lay on the other side. Rather than be happy that I was free, I got upset as the destruction of the forest lay brutally apparent.
-----
In the second dream, I went to visit my old elementary school with some of my friends from that school. We sat in on my old teacher, Mrs. Wosk as well as her assistant, Mr. Kinner. I told the assistant, "Mr. Kinner I had you in class 6 years ago" (actually 10, hard to count in dreams). He said, I don't remember --- I had lots of students. Mrs. Wosk recognized us immediately and embraced us like an old relative. Then she told us to go play outside. Funny thing is, Mrs. Wosk never had a Mr. Kinner as an assistant. She didn't have a male assistant at all. Her assistant was a really pretty Italian woman named Ms. Buscinelli.

Trying to get by

2007-08-28T23:11:00.001-04:00

I'm trying - trying to get by. I spent all my free time today learning programming, after a very lazy yesterday. It's difficult. It takes time. I'll need at least 3 weeks before I get anywhere with it. And besides, it's rather boring. Perhaps I should spend a week looking for a job instead. I'm getting restless mooching off my parents.

I watched a few documentaries in the last couple of days on the Iraq war. The first, Uncovered: The War in Iraq convinced me that the government fabricated a fictional story about WMDs to rush us into war through fictional scare tactics. The second, Mission Accomplished, showed a journalist take a tour of Iraq 7 months after Bush declared, "Mission Accomplished." He was met by many people dying to share their grief with him about raids in the night, family members arbitrarily imprisoned or killed, women disrespected. Iraqis everywhere were deeply distrustful of American motives and support the insurgency. The Iraqis have dignity and being occupied doesn't suit them, regardless of the "motives". Seven years into the war, it looks a hell of a lot like Vietnam.

Getting naked for a good cause

2007-08-27T12:51:00.001-04:00

Watch more PETA videos at PETATV.com.

The day I murdered Ehud Olmert

2007-08-25T07:57:00.000-04:00

I had a dream last night. It was the most powerful dream I remember ever dreaming. The dream took place at Brandeis on a beautiful day in late spring, probably May. Everyone was dressed in their best as the school year was coming to an end. The Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert was visiting. As was one of his advisors, someone who beautifully schmoozed his way through several governments. This advisor was a really sociable person everyone loved. At least he was before I killed him. And he happened to be Laura Covey's dad. Anyway, one day I was walking from my dorm out to a field where Laura Covey's dad and Ehud Olmert were schmoozing with the students. Yossi Brodsky, Laura Covey, Alex (Ezra's girlfriend - I forget her last name) and other Brandeis students were gathered. I walked to my car, jerked it on, and I then ran over both Laura Covey's dad and Ehud Olmert himself. I have murdered. And just like that, I became a fugitive from the law. My life became a living hell.
I started running. I ran to the dorm room and the Russian secret service followed me. I decided to run into the woods to hide, but I had no food. I found my way over to a banquet where Yossi told the others that I'm the man who murdered Olmert. I stole some food there - some bread, fruit, butter and a butter knife - and left. As I came out, I met Laura Covey and Alex on the field outside. Laura looked so hurt and furious, she couldn't say or do anything. Alex said she was gonna beat me up. She said I wasn't gonna hit her back. I said noone's fighting nobody and ran away. I started running down the street, away from Brandeis and towards the woods where I would hide, crying somewhat. I passed a young Chinese woman, naked, painted white, on a horse and holding a spear. She was out to give emotional support to anyone who needs it. I was so down. I yelled to her, I need help! And she came galloping to me.

In this dream, after I murdered, my life turned to shit. I would've given anything to switch places with anyone else. It has sunk to the lowest depths imaginable. My life became a living hell, a bottomless pit of sorrow and regret. And it felt so real. Then I woke up. The murder didn't happen. And all of a sudden I felt extremely lucky that I don't have any sort of major crime on my shoulders. That means I can still do anything I want. Aren't I fortunate.

Counts for a wet dream?

2007-08-23T02:03:00.001-04:00

Last night I had a dream. I forgot most of it. I should've wrote it down when I woke up. It was a strange type of dream which I rarely have. Within it I began to have a lucid dream where I was aware I was dreaming. Than I woke up into my "main dream" at which point I was no longer aware that I'm in a dream. In the dream, I was part of a Bohemian group of friends. A chubby, sociable German guy served as the intellectual of the group. And we discussed some book of high intellectual intensity. Later, I walked in and my friends were having an orgy. One of the girls happened to be presenting herself. When I walked up to her, she beckoned me to enter - just what I so desperately wanted to do. So I fumbled for my pants buckle and before I knew it, I was fucking her. Felt amazing - just what I've been yearning my whole life for. I came in around 30 seconds. But I didn't care. I got to penetrate her. And I felt utmostly satisfied. Afterwards, the German guy makes an eloquent speech about the book we were discussing earlier.
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I just watched an HBO documentary called Rehab. It was a frightening narrative on the lives of those addicted to hard drugs. Only a handful of those who go to rehab stay sober. I just thought to myself, I have my own addictions. I need to deal with them.

Siege - I love him

2007-08-22T21:54:00.001-04:00

2007-08-21T10:02:00.000-04:00

A little refuge outside my house.

A walk home from Jersey city.

Friday night through Saturday, I stayed for Shabbos with the Morgensterns in Morristown. They live in a little Chabad shtetl centered around the yeshiva. Dovid arranged the visit for me to see the yeshiva. Unfortunately the yeshiva wasn't in session. So the Morgensterns invited me to come again as their Shabbos guest. I had a good time there. However, I don't think I want to attend this yeshiva anytime too soon. I need to get a real job and start supporting myself.

I'm glad I saw their little community centered around their yeshiva. Everyone knows everyone. And there's plenty of cheer to spread around. It seems that only religion and/or isolation can make such a community happen.

2007-08-17T11:06:00.000-04:00

So last night I ended up seeing a show in the city called Sustained Windes. It was incredible. The show was a sincere and touching portrayal of the human face of Hurricane Katrina. I don't know if I've ever seen acting that sincere. I cried at one point during the play. The performance incorporated video, modern dance, audience participation. In the end, I danced with a performer on stage. It plays for a few more performances. Check it out.
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I went to chulent afterwards. I talked to a woman named Keitchra for a little bit. She's a photographer for the New York Times. I'm getting tired of meeting really successful people. I'm seeing a nice trend at Chulent. It's being frequented by more and more young ladies. The ratio is nearing 50:50. It's strange seeing the middle-aged men who come to schmooze with the young women. By that age, I feel I'd like to be married with children.
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Tonight I'm going for a Shabbaton with the Morgensterns. Hope it'll be worthwhile.

Orthodox Jewish Family Converts to Islam!

2007-08-16T01:31:00.001-04:00

A good example of the evil in absolute belief. Absolute belief is an evil in all schools of thought, regarding religion or not.

A Tutor dreaming he was a boxer

2007-08-15T22:19:00.000-04:00

I find myself checking my e-mail every half hour. It's very rare that I actually receive a message. I guess I'm just hoping that something will happen.
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I went to the gym to lift today. I weighed about 175 lbs. I have no idea where all this weight is coming from. I don't look any bigger. And I'm certainly not any stronger. I'm weaker than I've been all year.

I've been going to the boxing gym fairly regularly. I go whenever I can. I jump rope, shadowbox and hit the heavy bag. I hope to someday be a good boxer. At this rate it will take several years...at least. I really need to resume serious conditioning so I'm physically prepared when I am eventually thrown into the ring.
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I'm tutoring tomorrow. I got a part-time tutoring job. Tomorrow, the supervisor wants to see me tutor a girl in SAT II physics. I assume I'll be seeing a Koeran girl with low self-esteem who's obsessed with her GPA and test scores and wants to get into a good school. And she's having me tutor her. I wish I knew what subject we were going over. I guess my job will be easier if the girl knows nothing. I'm going over the book now. This material is extremely easy. However, if she's paying $40 an hour for a tutor, there must be some learning blocks we need to address. Why would she be coming to me otherwise?
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My C++ learning is coming along slowly. I can't seem to find the time for it even though I don't have a job. I'm getting tired of the internet job search. I rarely get a response. However, I think I should formulate a better resume, write more effective cover letters, and make better phone calls.
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I'm staying with the Morgensterns for Shabbos in Morristown. The premise for the visit is to experience Shabbos, talk about Judaism and see the local Chabad Yeshiva. My hidden intention is to make a business contact. Mrs Morgenstern is the founder and executive of a major law firm OR at least so I've been told. Anyhow, I was promised my own room.
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I've fallen in love with The Dresden Dollls. Her music is beautifully honest. It just speaks to me. Check out their latest albus, Yes, Virginia.
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Tomorrow night means chulent. Come join me. Don't tell anyone I posted this on my blog. But it's located in a synagogue on 6th street between 1st and 2nd ave. This may be your only chance to see a horny Hassid sausagefest live in action.

2007-08-14T10:09:00.000-04:00

why all these conflicting specifications
maybe to prevent overpopulation
all I know is that all around the nation
the girls are cryin’ the boys are masturbatin’
the girls are cryin’ the boys are masturbatin’
~Dresden Dolls - "Shores of California"

2007-08-13T16:36:00.000-04:00

It's past 4:30 in the afternoon on a monday. And I vegetated all day. It's a terrible habit of mine.
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Dovid called me back. He forgave me and he set up the Shabbaton for me with the Morgensterns that he said he was going to cancel. I'll stay with them from Friday afternoon through Sunday evening. I'll apparently learn at the yeshiva on sunday. Mrs. Morgenstern is an executive at a big law firm. I'm hopint to get a good business contact out of this. I suppose that's my excuse for going. Though really I have no good reason for doing this. Also, I was rather content in having bin rid of Dovid. I have no patience for his lessons anymore. I'm also reluctant to see him in person. He's too old and he's too touchy.
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I went to dinner last night with Alex Gomelsky and Thom Hollber. I spent $26 and I don't have a job. It was a good dinner though. I had Filet Mignon for the first time. Then I take one drag of Alex's Ganja cigarette and I got stoned. Then, everything seemed alright. And it is. My typical state of worries is the illusion.
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I'm very close to having "a job." I'll be tutoring physics and/or SAT math for $20 an hour. I hope it's $20 an hour.

2007-08-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

My mother saw me have a beer last night while studying Arabic. So she decided she needs to throw an intervention for me. She then emptied the refrigerator of beer. That was my second beer of the week.